pride-kun

I wanted to wait before posting this here because I wanted to write something big and proper. It was less than 24 hours ago and it still feels completely unreal. One of my closest friends took his own life. And I wanted to reach out to others about this experience.

It’s never an easy thing to go through. But, if you feel like you’re at your wits’ end and abandoned or lonely please please reach out to someone. Anyone. Even if its a random stranger in some random chat room. I’m saddened because we didn’t notice soon enough, we didn’t act fast enough. 

Now that its all over and done with, a lot of thoughts are flooding me right now. How I could have talked to him differently, how I could have done x, y, z to maybe hopefully steer him from this path… But his last words to me were not to blame myself. It’s hard when you feel like there’s something you could have done. 

Syn is someone that I met randomly in my picarto stream. He really loved characters with a gentle soul and big sister feeling to them. I talked to him because his interests aligned with mine and we became fast friends. Thanks to him I met a handful of good people that I wouldn’t want to ever give up. 

He had been going through some rough times and I tried my best to be there for him and reassure him that we were friends and nothing was going to change that. No fights, no opinion difference would ever take away what we had. 

Even if it wasn’t my fault, even if I did do my best, I wish I could have done more to ease his suffering. I’m saddened that the decision he came to was ultimately the last one he’d make. I love him so much and I miss him with all of my heart. For now, I want him to be remembered as he was. A good friend and a fantastic person. Please send him love and well wishes as he passes over.

I love you Syn, I hope your final path is paved with fortune and happiness.

treveran

Syn was a good friend of mine as well and this sums it all up. I will miss him greatly.